Just when I think I'm strong enough I feel beaten down again. Right in that moment of triumph, it all comes rushing back again. Hitting me like a ton of bricks. Can't I be happy? It seems like I can never catch a break. Keep getting burned. Burned deeper. Burned harsher. Burned longer. And just when I'm really going to be ok, it happens again. Was it all worth it?
I just want everything to be ok, how it use to be. But it never will be. And that's a fact. You'll never be the same person. The person I love is now non-existant? Did you die in that river too?
I want to feel hatred. But I can't. It's not me. It doesn't fit. It's not welcome here. God is here. And where God is there is love.
The love is the only thing keeping me sane right now. Love never fails. Your love never fails Jesus. You reminded me of that in the beautiful sunset today. As I gazed through the autumnal trees into the light of the sky, I felt a peace that surpasses all human understanding. There is no greater love, no greater peace, no greater joy than what you have to offer me. I see your face in every sunrise, the colors of the morning are inside your eyes. The world awakens in the light of the day, I look up to the sky and say- You're Beautiful. Thank you for making me a beautiful in the broken person.
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