Have you ever felt hurt wash over you? Envelop you in it's abyss? With no opening in which to escape from? I hate this feeling and it seems to be plauging my life a little to often lately. I love to love people. No really in a romantic way, I just am (by nature maybe?) a really caring person. When I get to know someone, I don't want them to just talk to me, I want to know about them- why they feel certain ways, their family background, why they view life how they do.... It helps me understand their point of view. But anyway... it seems like everytime I start to get to know someone well, they decide to hurt me. And not just a minor scratch or a surface blemish, a raging, deep, horrible, scarring wound. It hurts. It doesn't go away.
Am I doing something wrong in loving people? Am I loving the wrong way? With the wrong level of intensity? Or have I just had a rough line of people to love? We are suppose to love and yet I keep running into a wall. Oh life, in lamentation I ask you to explain to me why this keeps happening. A family member, a dear friend, a significant other... all near and dear to my heart and all of a sudden it all comes crashing down! I don't know if my heart can take another blow like this. It hurts too bad. How can I trust after these thing either? It seems to never last. Oh for a while, it is glorious. Beautiful. Intriguing. But life's horrible claws rip through the love's essence of being. why why why why why?
To make you stronger? I <3 you nearest and dearest.
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